So I find myself in very unfamiliar territory. Single. I have never wanted to be single, but this is where I am for now, so I believe that there is a reason. I know that God will work in me and mold me, and use me for his glory. That is my true desire. I would love for God to bring me a partner who has the same desires. In the mean time there are funny stories that happen to me while I wait for God to bless me. So here are 2 of them. I am going to tell you the cop story. Now some people may think this is sweet, but apart of me was upset...
I had just gotten home from a long day of trying to get my classroom ready for the new school year. I am so tired, but I come home to a houseful of children. I have 8 children in my house and running in my yard. Madison has a little friend over who weighs all of 20 pounds, but she is sneaky as anything!!!! They were upstairs playing house, or so I thought. All of a sudden Madison comes running downstairs upset and the phone is ringing and kids are running in and out. I answer the phone and it's the police telling me they are sending someone out because someone called 911. I wasn't happy. I let those girls have it. The little friend thought she could run home and nothing would happen, but I brought her right back over and made her wait for the cops. Meanwhile Madison who didn't call...is hyperventilating she is crying so hard. The other child could care less. So the cops shows up and is very kind. Wants to know "what's wrong with her?" (my child) I tell him she will be fine. He then asks me if I would like to be saved from a ticket and tells me my tag is out of date. I don't know these things for some reason. I ask if it matters if the car isn't in my name, and this leads into some questions where he finds out I'm not married. WELL this leads the cop to get out of his car and allow all of the kids to get in it and turn on the lights. He then gives me his card and puts his cell number on it and tells me if I need anything just call. This was very nice, but something made me feel like a piece of meat. Now my friend says that if this guy was my kind of drop dead gorgeous I would think all of this was so sweet, maybe I would, but I don't think so. I think I would have thought he was kind if not knowing anything, allowed all of the kids to get in the car and ask questions. When you step back and watch a person, you see their heart. I have met a man who has a very kind heart. One that gives. God didn't intend for us to be together, but I have seen what type of heart I would like to be married to. I remember this man was so busy. He had just gotten done telling me this long list of things he had to really get done that day and how stressed he was. Well I left work, and there he was in the parking lot changing this persons tire. I just remember thinking..what a great man. Oh don't get me wrong he has his issues as we all do, but he was a giver with a wonderful heart. Are you a giver? Would you stop and help someone even when life makes you super busy? I ask myself that...what would Jesus do?
Anyway that is the kind of heart I am looking for. And now you know why the cop sits outside my house. My neighbors are very happy that I live hear, because we now have a very safe street.
I will wait for my redeemer. (The story of Ruth)

My Life as I know it...

Ok, so this is my life at the moment. I am working on lesson plans with a house full of kids, well 3...but one of them seems like he is 3 kids in one. Every time he comes over he acts like the Tazmanian Devil and then eats all of my food when I'm not looking. Oh and there is a cop sitting outside my house. He likes to do that it seems.Why you might ask? I ask myself that too. ...And so the story of my life begins to unfold, but I must give you some background so the peices will fit.

I had the idea that I would be married forever and be a stay at home mom. That was my dream. My life turnned out different from that dream. I am greatful that it did. I have 3 wonderful children, and I have a glorious relationship with God.

I was married for 10 years. At first this man swept me off my feet. He did everything special you could think of. We got married and it was really good for a short time. I began to feel like this was not going to be the dream I had in mind. I first thought that when my husband got so drunk he peed in our hotel trash can thinking it was the toilet. My husband began to lie and drink. I say "began" lightly because I believe that he always lied to everyone to hide his real desires. He pulled away from me and beer became his mistress. He would come home drunk more often than not. I played my role in this life very well because in some ways I wanted things perfect. I didn't want anyone to know that my real life was hell and that I had no real marriage. That life began to unravel, and I began to have conversations with God. I talked to him all of the time...not realizing he was pulling me closer to him. I didn't want to leave and I tried everything I could think of. I remember one day when he had come home and started to back me into things...I just said "God I am barely hanging on here. Please help me." I felt God telling me to leave, but I had no job, no clue what to do. One night God told me "Breath in because you will not be here next year." I put my house on the market, and moved my whole family, and yes the drunk husband 10 hours away. We had no job, no family, and my husband was getting much worse. He would walk around like he was crazy. He would crap his pants and keep going, he would not shower for a full week. It was too much. I told him to leave and I put him on a plane to his family. By the end I was so scared for my life. I was on my knees crying out to God, and HE just wanted me to let go. I did and once I did...He carried me. He provided everything I needed to the day that I needed it. It was truly an amazing blessing. And that is where my story begins......