My Life as I know it...

Ok, so this is my life at the moment. I am working on lesson plans with a house full of kids, well 3...but one of them seems like he is 3 kids in one. Every time he comes over he acts like the Tazmanian Devil and then eats all of my food when I'm not looking. Oh and there is a cop sitting outside my house. He likes to do that it seems.Why you might ask? I ask myself that too. ...And so the story of my life begins to unfold, but I must give you some background so the peices will fit.

I had the idea that I would be married forever and be a stay at home mom. That was my dream. My life turnned out different from that dream. I am greatful that it did. I have 3 wonderful children, and I have a glorious relationship with God.

I was married for 10 years. At first this man swept me off my feet. He did everything special you could think of. We got married and it was really good for a short time. I began to feel like this was not going to be the dream I had in mind. I first thought that when my husband got so drunk he peed in our hotel trash can thinking it was the toilet. My husband began to lie and drink. I say "began" lightly because I believe that he always lied to everyone to hide his real desires. He pulled away from me and beer became his mistress. He would come home drunk more often than not. I played my role in this life very well because in some ways I wanted things perfect. I didn't want anyone to know that my real life was hell and that I had no real marriage. That life began to unravel, and I began to have conversations with God. I talked to him all of the time...not realizing he was pulling me closer to him. I didn't want to leave and I tried everything I could think of. I remember one day when he had come home and started to back me into things...I just said "God I am barely hanging on here. Please help me." I felt God telling me to leave, but I had no job, no clue what to do. One night God told me "Breath in because you will not be here next year." I put my house on the market, and moved my whole family, and yes the drunk husband 10 hours away. We had no job, no family, and my husband was getting much worse. He would walk around like he was crazy. He would crap his pants and keep going, he would not shower for a full week. It was too much. I told him to leave and I put him on a plane to his family. By the end I was so scared for my life. I was on my knees crying out to God, and HE just wanted me to let go. I did and once I did...He carried me. He provided everything I needed to the day that I needed it. It was truly an amazing blessing. And that is where my story begins......